Christian Counselling International

Testimonies:

Azman Khairuddin

Azman is an architect. He and his wife, Elaine, serve as elders at Journey Community Church in Antrim, N. Ireland.

I’ve recently been pondering how Theotherapy has impacted my life. Here are my initial reflections:

I wasn’t part of that small group of people who joined Northern Ireland’s very first TT Level I course, which Dr. Julia Muir taught at Journey Community Church not long after it was formed, ten years ago.

However, I had a special ring-side seat, as my wife Elaine was on it (alongside our pastor, John Ashe, and a small number of friends). Not only did I get to hear a little about what Julia was teaching (I eagerly quizzed Elaine at bedtime after each training day), but over the next year I also watched my wife grow and blossom.

Along with her expanding knowledge, it was clear to me that she also was experiencing transformation. I witnessed big changes as over time she became more herself, and blossomed. The increasing contrast between us showed me that Elaine had become more stable than me, and that deep inside me were issues that expressed themselves in how I navigate life, work, family and friendships.

So I was ‘all in’ when the opportunity arose to join a Level I Theotherapy course. I was happy with the form of the course: a life-transforming therapeutic course which honed my theology, brings renewal to my mind, helps me become a more stable individual who is more and better equipped to ‘do life’ and help others. I wasn’t concerned that the courses take a long time, that they require a fee in order to facilitate them, that TT as a course is no longer accredited. From the outset, I was delighted that it is more accessible, transformative and life-changing.

And life-changing it has been. I recall being amazed by how (after a few ‘dealings’) I dealt with conflict differently, in a much more healthy manner. I thought, ‘Wow .. I am NOT thinking and reacting the way I used to - this TT stuff really works!’

As I continue to contend with issues from my past through the course and getting counselling, I enjoy a better relationship with my children, and I am more loving towards my wife. I also see my relationship with God (and with myself) through a clearer lens.

Through dealing with why I hold onto things and need to feel in control, I am now a far far less stressed version of myself. Through being led through very well crafted counselling techniques, I stopped having migraines (that I suffered from for well over 30 years!). That felt miraculous. Through exploring why what people think of me was important, I’m now more free to be myself. At work, at church, at the dining table ; I am more ‘myself’.

And the benefits to the way I minister and help people has been invaluable. The way I pray for people has changed, and now I’m beginning to embark on doing some counselling, formally. I’ve found my few experiences in this regard to have been very rewarding. I’m excited for more.

And now? Like any who have ‘stayed the course’, I’m contending in Level 4 (there’s definitely some major contending built into this portion of the course ... quite challenging, at times).

I continue to get counselling, and continue to explore how my mind either limits or enhances my thought processes. Like all of us who have embarked on this journey, I now see things I didn’t see before. Once seen, we can’t un-see. We benefit from recognising the dynamics we learn about in TT expressed in the lives of everyone we encounter. I look at the world differently, because my inner world continues to be transformed. It’s a continuing journey, and so I’m excited to see what I don’t currently see.

Rachel Ashe

Rachel heads the Music Department at a girls school in Belfast. She is also an elder at Journey Community Church, Antrim, N. Ireland.

For most of my life I have had a fear of people vomiting. I am OK with me vomiting, but not other people. For a while I thought it was connected to the fear of making a mess and disappointing my parents, but I did a dealing with this and still struggled.

As I have gotten older the phobia began to morph into something that affected me physically and I would avoid situations where I might face this at all costs, such as school trips on buses or boats, having to go to A&E or anywhere else where the likelihood of someone being sick was a possibility. This was not always possible – especially as a mum of two children.

When the children were small I coped by not eating anything when they were sick, but as they got older I began to pass out when they vomited. It didn‘t always happen, but was particularly bad if I woke suddenly in the night and heard them being sick. I would go to help them, only to find myself unconscious on the bathroom floor with a pale and panicked child looking after me, instead of me looking after them. This made me feel like a rubbish mum.

At our last in person TT level 4 training, we were talking about phobias and how the mind hid the origin of them, so I told the group that I had a phobia and didn‘t know where it stemmed from. In my mind I had looked and looked but couldn‘t find where or when or why this happened. Dr Mark asked me a couple of questions about what age I was when I could first remember and to recall different scenarios when I had had to face someone being sick and from that deduced that I was afraid of abandonment of my mum.

I selected someone from the group who reminded me of my mum, who stood in front of me as I dealt and we removed the fear from my heart and I took my mum into my heart. It has taken me a while to realise the huge impact this has had. Before Christmas my husband, John, contracted a vomiting bug, which began on a Monday, Erin caught it on Tuesday, Ethan on Wednesday and finally I succumbed on Thursday. I had never had to face so much sickness all in the one house, but I didn‘t faint and was able to help look after them and wasn‘t afraid.

I have also noticed that a lot of my anxiety about silly things has disappeared and my heart is much softer. I have a brilliant mum and I am so glad that she will always be in my heart. I am so grateful for the tools of TT and how God set me free from this fear. Praise the Lord!

Dean Ferry

Vibe Church, Armagh, N. Ireland

During Level I training my wife Clare and I got married, on Wednesday 7th Feb 2018.

We had TT class on the 9th & 10th of February that clashed with our plans of a honeymoon. We didn’t want to miss out in case it would affect us moving forward onto Level II. So we decided to stay 4 nights up in Belfast so we could drive to Antrim, for that weekend. We also planned to fly out to Paris on Sunday the 11th.

Unfortunately, my wife had a huge fear of flying – ‘huge’ being an understatement! She hadn’t been on a plane for 7 years because of this.

During the class Julia had asked, ‘Does anyone have a fear of flying?’ Clare said, ‘Yes.’

Needless to say I’m sure you all can work out what happened. Julia was able to help Clare in a dealing with her fear. It was powerful.

I was amazed at the timing of it all – God’s perfect timing. The next morning we flew out to Paris. Clare left all her fear and anxiety behind. She could relax the whole flight. She didn’t dread and have anxiety about her flight home the whole time, like she would have before. All because of a question!

Wow!! I’m so thankful for Gods faithfulness and his goodness – and for TT. Theotherapy has been such a blessing to my life and my wife’s in so many ways.

God bless you all!